Elegy
by Zim'sMostLoyalServant
Summary: Oneshot. Lost in the depths of space, Tak longs for the chance to fulfill her dreams. She's about to get her chance too... but not in the way she thinks. Rated for character death.


**A/N: Welcome to the second of my brainstorming oneshots. This one is based off the "Twilight Zone" episode of the same name, but you don't have to have seen the episode to understand the fic… actually, it's probably for the best if you haven't seen the episode, since it'll ruin the twist ending. On the other hand, I'm probably the only person in this fandom who's seen the old series…**

**Okay, I'm starting to ramble, so I'll just start the fic. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: All characters and concepts related to Invader Zim belong to Jhonen Vasquez. The plot for this story is based on an episode of "The Twilight Zone" which belongs to the late Rod Serling (or his estate, whatever).**

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** Elegy**

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It was official – Tak hated her life, and life hated Tak.

It had been over sixteen months (according to Galactic Standard Time) since that idiotic Defective Zim and those human children had stopped her plan to hollow out the Earth, trashed her ship, and sent her flying off into the depths of space in an escape pod that was too damaged to use its hyperspace engines. Zim had also damaged her emergency transmitter beyond repair when he'd ejected her off of his Voot Cruiser, so she hadn't been able to call for help.

The worst part, however, was that she was stuck with perpetual silence. The only company she had was MIMI, and Tak couldn't activate her – every time she tried, the custom-built SIR went crazy and started smashing what was left of the pod. It was like being stuck with Zim's junky "advanced" unit.

"I almost miss planet Dirt," Tak muttered, "At least there I had people to talk to."

She glanced at the main monitor on the console and cursed, just as she did whenever she looked at it. She was nowhere near Irken territory, or Planet Jacker territory for that matter… heck, she'd settle for the Meekrob or that stupidly named resistance group at this point. But no, the only known sentient species in this general area of the galaxy were the humans, and they were_ definitely_ not in a position to help her.

Tak placed her chin in her hand. "Well, let's see," she said with a sigh, "I'm going at about 200 miles per minute, so I should reach the nearest Irken outpost in about, oh… a million years, give or take a century. Of course, I'll have run through all my emergency power supplies by then, which means my PAK will shut down and I'll die. Well, I guess I should try and think positive: maybe I won't have decomposed too badly by the time they find me and they'll be able to revitalize me… Oh, who am I kidding? That would require luck, and I haven't had any of that since the day that _fragging_ imbecile made me miss my test…"

Tak continued to rant like that for a while. Which wouldn't have been too surprising to anyone watching, as she'd been having almost the exact same rant every day for quite some time. The sad part was that she was aware of this, but she still said virtually the same thing day after day – if she didn't, she'd have to deal with the silence for every waking moment, and that would drive her insane.

She was pulled from her daily ranting when she noticed a beeping sound emitting from the control console. The purple-eyed female blinked in surprise, then checked the sensor panel to see what had set them off.

She nearly started crying in joy when she realized the sensors had gone off because they had detected an artificial object inside the asteroid field she was passing by. She had no idea what it was or who it belonged to, but at the moment she really couldn't care less. All she cared about was that she had finally found some shred of civilization.

'Hopefully they have supplies I can use to repair the hyperspace drives,' Tak thought, 'Then I can head back to Earth and make that _shoo-sen_ and his little human friends _pay_ for doing this to me.'

She quickly typed a few commands into the console, ordering the barely functioning engines to direct the pod towards the object she had detected. Once she had managed to navigate through the asteroid field, she let out a whistle of appreciation at the sight that greeted her.

It appeared to be a space station of some sort. It was composed of dozens of giant cubes, each easily half the size of the _Massive._ They were all connected by tubes the size of Viral Tanks; most likely, these were transportation tunnels. The overall architectural design didn't seem familiar, but Tak would worry about what species owned this place later. First, she needed to find a place to enter…

"Ah, there we go," she said, noticing what appeared to be an airlock on one of the outer cubes. A few moments later, the pod was attached to the airlock, which seemed to have been designed for multiple types of ships. It took several more minutes before Tak was able to synch her onboard computer with the station's computer systems – which probably had something to do with the fact that the systems were like nothing Tak had ever seen.

Eventually managing to open the airlock, Tak leapt out of the pod. She took a moment to stretch her cramped limbs, before the instincts drilled into her by her Invader training kicked in and she got into a defensive position. Fortunately, the corridor she was in was deserted, so her momentary lapse in battle readiness didn't cost her.

Seeing no sign of any life, Tak crept along the corridor, deploying her spider legs from her PAK and readying her weapons, just in case. But despite her acute senses, however, she failed to notice the glowing blue eye of the creature that was following her from a distance.

XXXXXXX

After about half an hour, Tak was grumbling obscenities in several languages as she stalked down the corridor. She had yet to find a single person in this place; more to the point, she hadn't found _anything_ yet. The corridor just went on forever, with nothing in it whatsoever. So when she finally found a doorway, she muttered a silent thanks to the Irken gods before pressing a hand against the activation switch and then jumping through the door panels as they slid apart.

As soon as she was in the room, she took in everything that was around her. And as soon as that happened, she froze in shock and raised her antennae in confusion.

"What the hell?"

In the middle of the lavishly decorated room, seated on a pile of cushions that looked like they could rival the couches of Vort in comfort, was a large reptilian humanoid in black robes. Surrounding him were females of – apparently – the same species. It didn't take too much brainpower to figure out that they were a harem, as they were scantily dressed, and were performing various acts of servitude. None of which was too unusual; no, what freaked Tak out was the fact that none of them were _moving._

Every single one of the reptilians was frozen in place. The male was leaning back, mouth wide open to accept the piece of fruit that one of the females was holding out from a golden platter, while two other females were holding giant leaves mounted on poles in positions that suggested that they were fanning the male. But they were all perfectly still.

Tak merely blinked stupidly for several minutes, not comprehending what she was seeing. Finally shaking herself free of her shock, she stepped forward and carefully reached out to touch one of the females. Her shock slightly increased for a moment, before melting away as her hand passed right through the reptile.

"Hmm, a hologram," she said. She then turned her attention to the rest of the room's occupants. Upon closer inspection, she found that all of the females were holograms, but the male was something else. He was physically there, but his body appeared to be composed of, or at least covered by, some sort of crystalline substance. Tak rubbed her head as a migraine formed.

'This doesn't make any sense,' she thought, 'What is this place, some sort of museum? If it is, why use holograms _and _a statue? Why not just settle on one type of display?'

Realizing that she was getting more questions than answers, Tak stormed out of the room, not bothering to shut the door behind her. However, a few minutes later, a blue glow filled the room as the being following Tak paused outside in the hallway. It scanned the room for a moment, then shut the door and continued its stalking.

XXXXXXX

An hour and several more rooms later, Tak had come to another conclusion – she _hated_ this place. She had found more apparent displays in those rooms, and they had all been just like the first one. There were always one or two people of various species frozen in place by the same crystalline substance, surrounded by holograms. Not only were the subjects always different species from what she'd seen in the first room, but so were the scenes.

Case in point, the room she was currently in. A creature that looked like an ape with the head of an octopus, and wearing what any sensible species would consider a cheap suit, was standing on a platform before a crowd of various aliens, all of which were in positions of cheering. But once again, no one was moving; the octo-ape was a statue, and the crowd was holographic. Noticing a banner stretched across the back of the platform, Tak activated her internal translator to decipher the alien language, hoping it might answer a few questions.

All she got, however, was: **ELECT TU-SHAKA FOR HIGH CHANCELLOR.**

Growling in frustration, Tak kicked one of the holograms, which flickered as her foot passed through it. "Damn it all!" she shouted, "What is this place?! And why is there nobody here?!"

There was nothing but silence. Glaring at the smiling face of the frozen politician, Tak felt what little patience she had left snap. She activated the weapons in her spider legs and fired a blast. However, just before the blast hit the statue, a shimmering force field appeared and absorbed the energy. Tak blinked in surprise, then jumped when a melodic voice behind her calmly said, "Please refrain from damaging the contents of the chamber."

Spinning around, Tak found that she was no longer alone. Standing just inside the doorway was a robot. Its body was a long tube, attached to which was a spherical head with a large blue crystal for an eye. Emerging from the body were several long spindly limbs, most of which were waving pointlessly in the air.

Taking all this in, Tak decided not to take any chances and fired another blast, this time at the robot. However, another force field appeared, this one covering the robot, which calmly said, "Also, please refrain from damaging me."

"Who… what are you?" Tak asked, staying in a defensive position, "And what is this place?"

"I am Caretaker Unit 343," the robot replied, "Welcome to the Allorian Station Private Cemetery. I apologize for not greeting you sooner, but-"

"Wait a minute, back up," Tak held up a hand to cut the robot off, "This place is a _cemetery?_ It looks more like some kind of museum."

343 nodded slightly at that. "True, the traditional meaning of the word 'cemetery' doesn't really apply here, but it's the same basic principle – this is the final resting place for the richest members of the Amukian Confederation."

"Never heard of it."

"It collapsed several hundred thousand years ago," 343 said nonchalantly, "But despite that, no one ever decommissioned this place, so my fellow Caretakers and I have continued our primary function."

Tak didn't respond to that. She merely looked over at the frozen alien politician; she had noticed before that all of the "statues" she had found all seemed very lifelike. That hadn't meant much to her before, but now she had to wonder…

"Are you telling me that _that_ is a body?" she asked, pointing up on the platform.

343 nodded. "Correct," he said, "That is Tu-Shaka of Bellatorix 9. He was a total failure as a politician. He had one term of office as planetary governor, at the end of which he was kicked out for nearly bankrupting the entire system."

Tak blinked in surprise. "Well, if he was such a lousy leader, why is he, uh, _displayed_ like that?"

343 blinked in surprise, and then nodded in understanding. "Ah yes, I forgot that you are not aware of this facility's function," he said, "I should explain. It was discovered long ago that riches really do not buy happiness in this universe. So, the Allorian Corporation built this place, where the rich could live out their unfulfilled fantasies for eternity in death."

The Irken female merely stared at the robot for several moments, totally speechless. Finally regaining control of her voice, she said, "That… is the _stupidest_ thing I have_ ever_ heard."

"Oh, I agree completely," 343 said, "But I was designed to maintain this facility and carry out the wishes of the Corporation, even if I did not fully understand the logic behind them. Actually, it was a fascinating process when it was still being done – our clients would choose beforehand what they would want to be displayed as, and we would use both physical supplies and holograms to create those scenarios. For example, Tu-Shaka, who never got very far in politics and always wanted to be important, is here shown as being elected to one of the highest positions in the Confederation.

"After the client's death, they would then be cryogenically frozen in order to preserve them, and they would be shipped here. After their arrival, they would then be coated in liquid carbonantium, which upon solidifying would create a shell around the body's exterior, keeping the client's image perfectly preserved forever, even after their innards began to decay. At this point, the body is then placed into their resting chamber designed for that client, to be in their fantasies forever more.

"But now that I've told you all about this place and its purpose, perhaps you'd be so kind as to return the favor and tell me who _you_ are and why you're here?"

XXXXXXX

Awhile later, Tak was sitting cross-legged on the floor of the hallway opposite 343, who listened with rapt attention as she gave pretty much her whole life story and everything he'd ever need to know about Irken society. Tak was pretty sure some of the information she'd given him could qualify as treason, but she highly doubted that he would ever use it. Besides, it wasn't like the Tallest or the Control Brains would ever know about this.

"…So, that pretty much brings us up to now," she muttered, leaning her head back against the wall behind her.

"I see," 343 nodded, "Well, I'm sorry to tell you, but I do not believe we have any technology at this station compatible enough with yours to fix your ship."

Tak's head snapped back to look at 343, and her eyes widened to take up her whole face. "WHAT?!?!" she shouted.

343, who had anticipated her reaction and shut off his audio receptors, waited a few moments to turn them back on. When he did, he calmly stated, "I said, I do not believe that we have any-"

"I heard you the first time!" Tak snapped, jumping to her feet and pacing angrily around the corridor. "Oh, this is just _great!_" she shouted, "You're telling me that I'm stuck here? Oh, this entire thing is all that idiot's fault! If he hadn't interfered with my plan, I would have conquered Earth and become an Invader – hell, if it wasn't for him, I would have become an Invader fifty years ago! Now because of him I'm stuck on this stupid space station in this gods-forsaken corner of the galaxy, and I'm going to be here forever!"

With a final angry shout, Tak slammed her fist into the wall, leaving a dent. 343 merely watched in silence as she vented her frustration, before speaking, "So, I take it that if you could be anywhere else right now, you'd be back on Earth, causing physical harm to this 'Zim' person?"

Tak looked over her shoulder at the Caretaker, before turning back to the wall and leaning her forehead against the cool metal. "No," she said softly, "If I could be anywhere else right now, I'd be off conquering a planet for Operation Impending Doom II, leading an army of Irken soldiers to victory. And Zim would be forced to watch, as I did the job better than he could ever hope to. _That's_ where I'd be right now, if I could."

"Thank you for clarifying."

Tak blinked, having noticed the strange tone in 343's voice. But before she could turn around and ask about that, a sudden burst of energy hit her PAK and she let out a screech of pain. She hit the ground, where she twitched in pain for a moment before collecting herself. It was at that point that she realized that her life-clock had appeared.

Gasping, she turned her head around to look at her PAK, and found to her horror that its nodes had gone dark, signifying that it was dead – which meant that in a few minutes _she_ would be dead. Turning to look back at 343, she found to her shock that one of his hands had opened up into what she clearly recognized as an EMP gun. It took only moments for her to realize what that meant – he had shut down her PAK when her back was turned.

"You," she snarled as she stumbled to her feet, "You _fragging shoo-sen!_"

She rushed the robot, determined to make sure her killer died with her. However, 343 merely extended several of his appendages, which latched onto Tak's wrists and ankles and then slammed her against the wall, pinning her there. She struggled for several minutes, and probably would have continued, but her strength collapsed, and she hung limply from the position she was stuck in. Managing to lift her head, she focused her dimming eyesight on 343.

"W-why," she stuttered, finding it hard to speak as her mental capacities rapidly deteriorated.

"It's nothing personal," 343 said, "but I must fulfill my primary function. While you are not a client of the Allorian Corporation, you are someone who has been denied her life's dream. And since you are already here, without any chance of ever leaving, it is only right that you get the chance to rest peacefully in your fantasy. So go to sleep, young Irken. I'll handle everything…"

XXXXXXX

Invader Tak stood atop a pile of rubble, an Irken flag gripped in one hand and a smirk on her face as she took in the sight before her. The enemy city burned around her, while a platoon of Irken soldiers stood at her back, loyally awaiting her orders to advance. Off to the side, Zim stood in chains with a gag stuffed in his mouth, while a squadron of Elite Guards kept watch over him.

'The other Caretaker Units will be impressed with how quickly I set all of this up,' 343 thought to himself, as he reached out and slightly adjusted the position of the flag in Tak's hand. Now completely satisfied with the display, he turned and exited the room, leaving Tak to her life-long dream.

For the rest of eternity.

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**A/N: And that is now done. This one was a little harder to write than I thought, but it was meant to get my creative juices flowing, and it has. I should have the prologue for "Evolution of Evil" up by this time next week.**

**Until then, read and review!**


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